His Fear
by Arachniphobia16
Summary: I get a lot of flack about the whole bug thing, especially from Mikey and he deserves a punch in the face for it all but I can never hold on to my anger about it. I should be angry, I want to be angry and it would be far easier to be angry at him. After all, it was all his fault but I couldn't be mad at him about something he didn't remember it wasn't fair. Genre may change


**Look look look it's another been bugging the crap out of me idea! Apparently people like these and they help me concentrate on my bigger stories which I need to update but I can't get this out of my head! **

**PAGEBREAKPAGEBREAKHOTCHOCOLATEWHEEEEEPAGEBREAKPAGEBREAKPAGEBREAK**

I hadn't seen Don drill into Mikey like that in a good long time and of course Leo was trying to pry the two of them apart. I just stood off to the side like an idiot because I didn't know what to do. Donatello could be amazingly protective at times and it's pretty easy to forget just how scary he can be.

"Leo, for once shut up!" Don gave Leo a great shove backward before rounding on Mikey. "I can't believe even _you _could manage to be that stupid!"

"Geeze Donnie! Will you chill out already! It was a prank okay?!" Mikey yelled back.

I situated the ice pack on my head and adjusted the one strapped to my shoulder. If I got up Donnie would turn all that rage on me, what with the concussion and all.

"That prank could have seriously hurt Raph or even killed him! We wouldn't do something like that to you. It was too far!"

"Donatello!" Leo yelled to get his attention.

"And you _fearless leader_!" Don thrust a finger in Leo's face. "What is _wrong _with you? If that had happened to me, or Mikey you would've been all over the culprit but because it's Raph you just let it slide with a 'not in the shower' lecture?! Mikey needs to learn that those pranks are unacceptable!" He turned back to Mikey who was getting angry at the whole situation because he obviously didn't understand. "Bug pranks are off limits. You scared the hell out of Raph and that fall could have hurt him worse than it did."

"I don't get this Don!" Mikey finally yelled back.

"What don't you get?!" Don shrieked, I didn't even know his voice could get that high.

"This whole thing is stupid, I mean it was a few fricken _bugs _okay?!"

"Raph's _scared _of bugs Mikey!"

"Hey!" I tried to interrupt but Donnie cut me off.

"Shut up Raph! We know you're not scared you just hate them, now can it!" I sunk lower in my chair and just zoned out as they continued to scream at each other.

Was this what it looked like to everyone when I argued with Leonardo? I wanted to stop this, it didn't really matter at all. I was fine. Okay, it did matter to me but no one needed to know that. Don didn't have to go and make a big deal out of it. Suddenly the argument had come to blows and that was a huge shock.

I leaped out of my chair, the dull crackle of the ice pack hitting the ground something I barely noticed, and helped Leo pull Don off of Mikey. The two were still screaming at each other and my head exploded in stars and a dull fog as a stray fist hit me. I could feel my eyes roll into my skull as I crumpled to the floor.

When I woke up no one was screaming, I was on the couch and Splinter was watching me with worry in his eyes.

"Raphael?" He softly called my name and I concentrated on focusing my eyes. "Donatello, he is awake."

"What happened?" I mumbled, still a little fuzzy.

"How much do you remember?" Donnie's eyes grew huge.

"Whoa, chill Don. Last thing I knew you were beating on Mikey something fierce."

Splinter shot him a ferocious glare and Don grinned sheepishly whilst rubbing the back of his neck. I guess Splinter hadn't heard that bit yet….oops….sorry Donnie.

"Well, at least you don't seem to have any memory loss, but you need to stay right where you are. I don't want you moving. I looked you over and it's safe for you to sleep but I'm going to be staying out here with you in case of any complications. You got a pretty good bump on the head. How are you feeling?"

"Eh a little fuzzy but okay otherwise I'm good."

"Good." Splinter nodded. "Now, if Raphael can be left alone for a few minutes I wish to speak with the rest of you."

Don nodded and turned to follow Splinter out of the room. It was only then that I noticed Leo and Mikey were in the room too. Mikey glared at me and I shot him one back that quickly faded after everyone was gone and instead I found myself depressed and close to tears.

It would have been so much easier to be angry at Mike and I should have been angry about the situation because it was all his fault, the prank, my fear, everything but….I couldn't be angry at him for something he didn't even remember. It didn't seem fair. He was so little, but so was I. I had asked him about it and he obviously doesn't remember.

My fear of bugs isn't like any of my brothers' fears. Leo was afraid of heights and Splinter worked with him on it and Mike was scared of the dark long after all of us had gotten over it. Splinter hasn't worked with me on the whole bug issue because it hasn't affected my ninjitsu at all and if it doesn't then he waits for you to admit your fear and want help. I don't want to do that because that would mean telling them WHY I'm afraid of bugs and that's a story I'm not sure I want to share with them.

I couldn't help but think back to that day as I lay there and fought the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't even know why I was so upset about this. I succumbed to the memory and prayed that this time the nightmares would stay away.

We were about five years old and for once I wasn't the one sneaking out instead it was little Mikey. He wasn't the quietest and woke me up as he made for the door and of course I couldn't let him go alone. Once outside the lair, with a flashlight in hand he giggled and I spoke up.

"What are ya doin?" I asked and he jumped a foot.

"You aren't da only one who gets ta sneak out Waph!" He spoke with a slight lisp.

I had always thought Mikey's lisp as a kid was cute but that is something I will never admit to out loud.

"Well, I get ta come too!" I demanded and little Mike had been quick to agree.

He wouldn't have made it far with just the flashlight in those dark tunnels and every time I remember this I find myself wishing I had pulled a Leo and just tattled on my little brother. Nope, I had to go and be adventurous.

We walked around the darkened sewer tunnels whilst Mikey babbled on and on about this and that and I just smiled. It was cool sneaking out with my little brother and I thought about doing it more often. We came across a sewer grate and we stared at the moon in the night sky for a few minutes before continuing our trek. Mikey just talked and talked and talked the whole time and I had taken a moment to check out a toy truck on the ground when I heard him scream.

I leaped to my feet as fast as I could and ran over to the flashlight as it rolled on the ground. It was eerily quiet for a few seconds and then he started crying. I looked around with the flashlight as he called out my name in a terrified scream. I found a hole in the ground and shone the flashlight down to see Mikey curled up in a ball in the darkness.

"Hang on Mikey!" I yelled. "I'll go get Mastah Splinta!"

"NO!" He shrieked. "No Waphie don't leave me! WAPH!"

He was so scared and I couldn't leave him so I stayed and tossed him the flashlight.

"Here Mikey, look around and see if you can get out."

He sniffled and having the flashlight calmed him a little bit.

"I dunno Waphie. I tink I can climb out but I'm scawed!" He started to cry again.

"Do you want me ta come down and help ya?"

"What if you can't get out!?"

"Then I'll wait with ya until Mastah Splinta finds us."

"Okay." He sniffled and I jumped down next to him.

It had been a little higher than I had anticipated and I hit the ground pretty hard. I took the flashlight and looked around a bit. It looked like we might not be able to climb up so I looked around for an easier way out. I saw a metal door on the floor and opened it to find a small space just barely big enough to hold one of us. I was putting the lid back when Mikey screamed again. I was getting tired of his crying so I turned to him in a huff and he trapped me in a tight hug.

"Something BIT me!" He cried as he held his leg and I moved his hand to see a welt growing.

"What did it look like?" I asked.

"It was a big spider Waphie!" He sobbed and I sat us down on the dirt covered ground.

I rubbed the swollen spot on his leg as he cried and I did my best to calm him down. I don't know how long it was that I just held him and shushed him before everything went to hell. He was quiet for a little while and then he started screaming again, in pain, in fear and I had no idea what was going on. Looking back on it now I think he was hallucinating from the bug bite. Every little shadow made him cry and he was screaming about monsters. I started to cry then too.

I tried everything to get him calm again but he wriggled out of my arms and started hitting the walls around us in his terror. The moment he did that bugs started crawling out of every crack and soon the whole place was crawling. All the bugs only scared him more and he was starting to hyperventilate. He was in pain and being so scared was only making it all worse.

I picked up the metal lid before the bugs reached us and told Mikey to get in. There weren't any bugs there and the lid looked secure enough to keep them out. I was desperate and told him it would keep him safe. He climbed in and I laid down on the lid as thousands of bugs swarmed all over me. I got bit a lot and it hurt. Mikey was screaming and crying and calling out for Master Splinter. I just cried quietly above him.

Those bugs got everywhere, in my mouth, in the hollow places of my shell and I couldn't get them off. There was a nest of huge ants that bit me all over and it felt like fire. I tried not to scream, for Mikey because I was the tough brother and if I was getting scared then Mikey's heart would probably explode. Their prickly little legs dug into my skin and itched as they scuttled everywhere and eventually I was rolling around and flailing my limbs trying to get them all off of me and trying to get them to stop biting me. That wasn't even the worse part of it all. There was a loud creak and a groan before a section of the wall I was close to crumbled and a decayed corpse rolled out with more bugs. Her head lolled to the side and chunks of her black hair slid off in the tumble. She stared at me with a pair of empty sockets and her jaw hung from her face by a half severed tendon.

Her flesh was swollen, green and slimy and the smell that filled the place made me gag. Big black beetles crawled out her mouth and through holes eaten in her flesh. There were brands visible on her body and I bit my hand to keep from screaming at it all. I bit down until I tasted blood and the dead girl seemed to reach out for me clacking her teeth and gargling words. Her nails scraped the ground and popped off as her arms twisted and flopped with cracks and grinds as the broken bones tore through. She stared at me and screamed a loud wail that still haunts me to this day while beetles crawled out of her sockets.

We must have been stuck down there for hours before the bugs retreated back onto the girl and into the walls enough for me to feel better about pulling Mikey out but he wasn't doing well. He was in so much pain, I was too but I had to get Mikey back. I did my best to get my barely conscious brother out of that hole and I fell a few times but eventually I got us out. I half carried half dragged him back to the lair and by the time we got there Splinter was awake and looking everywhere for us.

It was a tense wait for Mikey to improve and I struggled with my bug bites too. Both me and Mikey were sick for a few days and once Mikey was doing better Splinter asked me what happened. After everything that had happened I didn't want Mikey to get in any trouble for instigating the exploration session.

I told Splinter that I was sneaking out and Mikey caught me so I wrangled him into coming with me so he wouldn't tattle and Mikey got bit by a strange bug. I didn't leave out my bug bites either but I certainly didn't tell him the real story.

There are a lot of people that don't think kids can lie very well but when it's important they sure can and Splinter has believed me all of these years.

I sighed, rolled my face into the couch and feigned sleep as Don came back in and sat down in a chair by me.

I didn't sleep a wink that night, even with the concussion, I was too afraid of dreaming about itchy, scuttling, hairy legs, alien like eyes, snapping, hungry mandibles, clicking exoskeletons and pain filled wails of pure terror.

PAGEBREAKPAGEBREAKPAGEBREAKMYBACKHURTSNOWPAGEBREAKPAGEBREAKPAGEBREAK

**Idea popped up in the middle of the night and I barely got to sleep I was thinking so much. Tell me what you think and if you want me to continue or not. Yay I can think on my other stories now. WHEEEEEE!**


End file.
